Announcing Pregnancy early

Every pregnancy I have felt that overwhelming excitement, the kind I just can't contain no matter how hard I try.. With my first pregnancy we decided to announce early because we were sooo excited. None of my sister had ever had problems when it came to miscarrying and for me, knowing that there's always that chance never even crossed my mind. I had absolutely no worries about it.
We lost our baby around 9 weeks. I was completely devastated. although I was so sad, I had no regrets. I never once regreted announcing early because for those 5 weeks I was able to talk about my baby and every single emotion I was feeling. I was soooo overjoyed, knowing I had been given the most precious gift. Although I had quite a few rude comments that were made to me during that time, I tried my best to ignore it because it was clear they had no idea the pain I was already feeling. I had to constantly remind myself that they just didn't know, they didn't know what words would be hurtful and what would be okay. There were also so many wonderful people who told me things that were exactly what I needed to hear at the time to help me get through the loss of our baby. I realized then, that the support I received was exactly what I needed to get through our loss.
We didn't announce our next 2 pregnancies. Jason and I were sure to keep them to ourselves because "That's what you were suppose to do." And I honestly was scared of someone telling me that, "I shouldnt announce MY pregnancy until I was at least 3 months into it." (Yes someone really had the balls to tell me that while I was going through my first loss.) When I had lost those babies it put me into such a horrible depression. There were times when I really didn't think I would ever be able to be happy again. There were times that I honestly felt like taking my own life. now reading this, you may think how ridiculous that may sound. but its the 100% truth. Jason was the only thing that kept me pushing on. I had lost SOOO many good friends at that time. I had changed for the worse and it took me a really long time to find myself again. I felt so lone, I felt like I couldn't tell others about my losses because it was "embarrassing", because It meant that I was a 'failure' and because it was too awkward for others.
My pregnancy with Urijah, I was on progesterone and taking baby aspirin. So we thought that was the cause to my losses and we were sure that it would now be fixed, as long as I was taking the progesterone. So as soon as we were pregnant in March 2014 we waited about a week before we decided we would share. We told our families, we told our friends.. We finally announced on facebook and instagram and little did I know, we started our 4th miscarriage just 2 hours after announcing on social media. This was hard.. sooo hard, because now, we knew that the progesterone was not the answer to our pregnancy issues. Even though our pregnancy ended, I realized again how much easier it was for me to get through. I had so much support from our friends and family. I felt so much love and I felt less alone. Of course having Riah to hold on to, helped me push forward. but the fact, was that I had the support I needed.
with our next 2 pregnancies, I had the need and desire to talk about my pregnancy. but I still never really announced it. We didn't tell a lot of our family until we lost the babies. and that was really hard for me. because I felt like we were only telling them the bad news. They never got to hear the good things about my pregnancy, like the cravings and when I was feeling crappy, or when I cried because panda express gave me dry noodles.. I may not have been far along. but it was sad that I felt like I had to keep my pregnancy a secret from them. which leads me to this last pregnancy. I announced the day after we found out, we were happy. we told our families, we talked about the possibilities, but we were happy. we had support we needed, I could talk about EVERYTHING. I didn't have to hide my happiness and I didn't have to hide my baby. I loved being pregnant and I wanted this baby to know that I loved it too. even if it was the size of a blueberry. I loved it, with all my heart. It was the best decision for me. I enjoyed every single day, every hour, every minute that I was pregnant and that's what I wanted out of this pregnancy. I just wanted to enjoy it for however long god would let me. It has always been easier for me, to announce my babies than to hide them. Either way, I believe that you shouldn't have a time line on when "the right" time is to announce you're expecting. Every baby is a gift and deserves to have light shined on it.
I get asked all the time if we "regret announcing", and I hope this answers your question.

Comments

  1. You truly are an inspiration to myself and to others. I have a few family members that are in the same situation as you. It sounds weird to say, but you sharing pieces of it all helps me be there for my family members a little more. As if they are speaking through you. I have no clue if that made any sense and I am not sure how I can explain it better, but do know you are in my prayers and thank you for sharing with us because it does help those who are going through the same thing and also helps their loved ones too.
    With lots of hugs,
    Kika.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much for the sweetest comment ever.. that is exactly with my goal. Trying to help others understand the struggle that SO MANY women go through. I hope soon to write a blog about the Do's and Don'ts when someone close to you is suffering from miscarriage or just trying to get pregnant in general. the feed back you gave me was amazing because sometimes its hard to know exactly what to share and if its "too much". so I appreciate you giving me your thoughts. hope you have the best day and thank you so much for your prayers. XoXo

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  2. I LOVE this perspective! You're amazing.

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  3. "because I felt like we were only telling them the bad news. They never got to hear the good things about my pregnancy,"

    THIS! When I had my first pregnancy/miscarriage (I've had 4 miscarriages), I followed all the rules and didn't tell anyone. And then when I miscarried at 8 weeks, I had to call my mom and sisters and tell them what I was going through. It was horrible. I needed love and support but for them they were just hearing about this all for the first time. They were sad for me, but they weren't going through loss, and so I felt so completely alone. With all subsequant pregnancies, I've told my family and close friends early on, knowing that if I do lose that pregnancy, that I'll be able to fall back on the support I need.

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  4. Yes yes yes and yes. You literally took the words right out of my mouth!

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  5. You are such an inspiration! I just went through my first miscarriage last week. I do have a sweet little girl I get to hold but losing this baby has been hard on me emotionally, physically and spiritually! But you have made me feel so much better! I never announced my pregnancy only a few friends and family knew! In a way I wish I would have told everyone but again I felt like you did, embarrassed! I wish I would have said something so I had that support system from other women! But I didnt. Um so glad I found this blog! Thank you do much! ❤

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  6. You are such an inspiration! I just went through my first miscarriage last week. I do have a sweet little girl I get to hold but losing this baby has been hard on me emotionally, physically and spiritually! But you have made me feel so much better! I never announced my pregnancy only a few friends and family knew! In a way I wish I would have told everyone but again I felt like you did, embarrassed! I wish I would have said something so I had that support system from other women! But I didnt. Um so glad I found this blog! Thank you do much! ❤

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